A handsome piece of deformity.

Wow, almost half past one and I’ve not yet had the chance to get much more than minimal work done on work-related gook. Just booked an appointment for high-speed internet installation once I’m in my new digs; Wednesday, December 3rd. Given that I’m set to move in on the first, that should hopefully give me enough time to get the place in some sort of order and, more importantly, get an operating system erected and ready on my new machine.

Things I can’t forget: call about power, call about phone. Tell work, bank, everywhere and everyone I need to about my new address and phone number. Oh, and my new email address(es), too. Gah. Pick up computer desk. Futon. Um. Celebrate the lack of television at my new home; play copious amounts of computer games (purchase Knights of the Old Republic, perhaps?).

Fun, fun, fun.

Blimey. Set out to buy a computer and, prior to purusing and subsequent purchasing, I promised myself that I would spend no more than $3,000 CAD. So, after a few weeks of research and studying benchmarks and pricing parts out, there I am, in the computer shop, the final tally comes up, and… I’m approximately $70 CAD over budget.

“Shit,” I think to myself.

Three grand, on its own, is an absurd amount to pay for a collection of hardware which, in less than three months, will be nearly worthless on the secondary market. I recognize this. Still, I love my toys, I want my toys to be fast, and I want my toys to last. And, should a toy be able to double as a tool, than you’d better believe I’m going to invest the money necessary to have the best I can buy.

Thus, forced by the inner voice of moderation (“Yeah, right,” I hear you say, “$3,000 CAD is moderate?” *cough*) I trimmed out the second hard drive I’d wanted and knocked the video card back a notch (Radeon 9800 Pro to Radeon 9800 — clock speed’s a touch slower, I believe). I’m still pissed off, though! This is the first machine I’ve ever built and purchased entirely on my own and I wanted it, really wanted it, to have everything. It was to be my “Dream Machine” and yet, somehow, I feel slighted at having to exercise some degree of fiscal restraint at the last minute.

Suppose I’ll have to settle with purchasing another hard drive a few months down the road, upgrading the video card over the summer.

Oh, and my youngest sister really pisses me off. Petty little creature. I look forward to not having to speak with her at all, unless it’s on my terms, once I’m moved out. Yay!

Home now. Sadly, the old maxim is true: time DOES fly when you’re having fun. Fun this evening was defined in the dark lying next to mine love, talking about this, that and everything. It was a lovely conversation, and I would have given the world to have fallen asleep with her.

Went to bed late last night, yet still couldn’t sleep; mind was racing a mile a minute, thinking about friends with problems and problems at the office. When finally I did succumb to the sandman, I was treated in a most exquisite and unusual dream that, for the most part, centred on m’love and I driving. Off a cliff.

See, we were on our way to a birthday party of a friend of mine when, for whatever the reason, I lost control of the vehicle we were driving and sent us careening of the nearest cliff (we were in the mountains). We suddenly found ourselves outside of the car, soaring through the air, gazing down on the landscape below and our imminent deaths. The first words out of my mouth were, “I love you,” though if she heard me I did not hear her reply, likely due to the howling wind stealing our words and casting them about the valley we were plummeting towards.

After a moments fall, I became aware that one of us or both in conjunction could control, ever so slightly, our descent. Aiming for a nearby lake, I hoped for the best. Landing was a wet experience and the dream was made even stranger by the presence of a disemboweled moose in the water with us — along with what were, presumably, the two children of the dead moose who now thought that m’love and I were their mother.

And, believe it or not, the dream got even odder from there… but, alas, I must go to work. Until later.

Level 15 with 112,217 points… a personal record. I gained at least four extra lives on the level, hence the score a good 25,000 points higher than my previous best, yet was still unable to beat it. I’ve been stumped now for a good week and, as those closest to me can attest, it’s not for lack of effort. *grumble grumble*

Cripes, I should have been in bed a good half-hour ago. Hrrm.

With due apologies to Bill Shakespeare: someone cried ‘havoc!’ and let slip the dogs of winter. The roads are chaos, people drive like idiots — what else is new, right? — and the weather, oh wow, the weather is bloody cold. Someone let ol’ man Winter off his leash and, wouldn’t you know it, he’s a bitter and cold old bastard.

Brrrr. Cutting wind, snow galore, and slick-as-glass roads… sprinkle liberally with people who drive like it’s still summer and, hey, you’ve a recipe for disaster.

Life’s stressful right now; odd thing is, I’m enjoying it on some level. There’s something gratifying about being on a steady adrenaline drip for a week running, sleep be damned. I’m currently in the process of listening to Squaremeter’s “War of Sound” (Act148) and, being a Tolkien geek and m2 fan, am loving every second of it.

Speaking of Tolkien, it’s official: I’m off to the local marathon showing of the trilogy Tuesday, December 16th. I’m very excited at the prospect, though I’m praying for an aisle seat. Afterall, as pleasurable as seeing the set back-to-back on a big-ass screen with bad-ass sound will be, having my long legs cramped for ten-plus hours is distinctly unappealing.

What is appealing, however, is the happy fun time computer that I am in the process of constructing. See, along with the responsibility of moving out comes the responsibility of building a mighty personal computer… or something. Something within financial reason, of course. I’m building something that will be personally satisfying and will, hopefully, stand as a quality system for at least a year or two. I’m in the process of investigating various video cards, though I’m having a hard time pinning down anything specific as the market is constantly shifting and expanding.

Ah, well. Bottomline is, stressed out as I am right now, life’s good. I’m happy, though am likely going prematurely gray due to my personal context. Suppose I can take comfort in knowing that I earned ‘em, though… :)

I am tremendously foolish. I was drop-dead tired last night, so what do I do? Stay up later than intended researching computer parts. Yay, me!

Suppose I’d best get some clothes on and stumble out the door… *yawn*

Something surreal about playing Bubble Trouble to the sounds of Sarah. Got to Level 13 with six lives, died once, passed the stage. Where 13 failed, 14 was more than adept at kicking my butt.

Ouch.

Bed time…!

Good half of an hour was flushed down the toilet just now listening to a co-worker go on, at length, about office politics and other work-related things. Frustrating thing is, the conversation could have waited until tomorrow; in fact, odds are the same territory will be re-tread (at length!) on the morrow. Huzzah. Here’s hoping tomorrow is remotely peaceful and free of the infighting that has been unusually frequent of late that, though I have a stake in it, I’ve no fucking interest in.

Positive thing did come out of the conversation, though! Was offered two pairs of hands with moving out. That’s a good thing, in and of itself; something for which I’m grateful. Just wish the us-versus-them mentality that seems so prominent amongst select people with whom I work could be entirely excised. I hope with all sincerity that I myself do not fall prey to such thinking…

Listening to the new Sarah McLachlan disc now (thanks, love), and enjoying it. It’s peaceful, and strikes a nice contrast with my mood (which too was peaceful prior to the aforementioned phone call). That’s not to say that I’m distressed; just stressed and disgruntled with some of the behaviour I have to put up with from people who, really, should know better.

I’m likely overreacting to all of this (it was established through internal and external discourse earlier this evening that I have a habit of stressing about small and, daresay, petty things that I have not the power to change):

“You will perish of fits. Repeat this to yourself: ‘Things can work out even if I don’t get my way. Things can work out even….’”

Words to live by…

Stupid phone! Stop ringing!

I shall have company with whom to mark with today… pity her attention will be as focused on work as what mine will be. Still, there is comfort to be found in the presence of a companion, mute or no.

I am gleeful.

And I want coffee… no, slurpee. No. Um.

Overslept in the sense that I stayed in bed longer than intended. However, given that, it was very clear to me how wiped out I was from yesterday.

…and to think, an encore performance today followed by a five-day work week…

Ouch. My head hurts thinking about it.

What didn’t hurt, however, was last night. Had a delightful time in the company of m’love, though the clock is indeed the spawn of the devil. Evil clock! Hopefully tonight too will yield in an encore; I’m a sucker for snuggling.

Restless. Getting harder to maintain my concentration. Neck is stiff, sore. Tremendously bored. May have to stop soon, though I’d like to push on until five.

Three discs later, one class is done. I mean, mostly. A handful of students were mysteriously absent on Friday — there’s nothing quite like a major assignment due to magically induce a fever in adolescents — which means I’ll have more work to do later in the week, but…eh. Whatever. I’m content with things as they are now.

Seeing me into the start of my second stack of papers is, per the playlist below, Vox Barbara. Click-crunch-click, folks. Following Vox Barbara will be the two Russian-anthology discs that Coil published — Guide for Beginners and Finishers — Ammo was pulled from the playlist.

Yargh. Back to the battle.