Off By One

Anyone that partakes in a sport that is outside the norm will have some reason or other for doing what they do. Mostly, their reasons boil down to vague notions of thrill or of challenge; they want to do something that scares them, or that is so insanely difficult that doing it at all elevates you to an elite crowd.

These are, in my opinion, pretty good reasons to do crazy things. They’re not, however, my reasons.

I choose to fly because I get to feel the freedom of letting go of conventional stability — the plane — and having a very personal, nearly spiritual connection to my world. When I am in the air alone, I owe nothing to anybody but myself, and I owe very little even there. All I have to do is pull, and I have satisfied every obligation.

Today, and I write this reluctantly, I jumped for the last time.

The skies were blue, patched with clouds at 7,000’.

The air was fresh, the wind calm.

The temperature was high, but for Brazil, not too bad.

I jumped from a Caravan at 12,000’, making a smooth exit and a laughing, joyous flight through a cloud in the aforementioned cloud layer.

I pulled.

The chute opened.

And I felt something in my shoulder give.

It wasn’t a complete dislocation, but even now when I put on a T-shirt, I feel it nearly slip out when I slide my arm into the sleeve.

I cannot jump if I cannot comfortably and fearlessly carry out the single most important task in the skydive, and I cannot safely pull anymore.

So, jump #38, at 25 minutes and 15 seconds of freefall, my first jump in a country other than Canada, my first jump from a Caravan, and also my last.

Well, it’s been a bit; I’m not sure why, but I’ve been undermotivated to blog lately, which has resulted in an ominous quiet from the site.

Here’s a bullet-point update on my situation these days:

• I’m biking to work pretty much daily now; it’s about (I’m told) 6km each way, so it’s a bit of exercise I wouldn’t otherwise be getting, and it’s pretty decent exercise. It’s excellent that our workplace has a shower.
• I’m taking class in the morning and working late, which means that anyone that wants to make plans with me has to take into account that I won’t be home until 7:30 or so each weekday. Having said that, I’d love to do evening things with people, so please call any time.
• Work is up & down; I want to work on new things, but old things keep cropping up.
• Char is away this week, and I miss her.
• XBMC is the greatest thing since sliced bread. No AppleTV for me, my new (old) Xbox does everything I would want the aTV to do.
• I’ve read a few books recently, notably “Infidel” by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, which I bought for Char. It’s excellent, and I highly recommend it.
• On Sunday, with the blessings of Lyal and the qualified non-refusal of a shoulder surgeon, I’m going to fly again.

Although it might appear to the casual observer that I am dead, or perhaps comatose, I assure you that neither is the case. Rather, I have been swamped with a combination, familiar to some of you, of school and work that has left me with little time even to prepare for my incipient travels (to be catalogued, as M&M’s are, at http://www.offlineblog.com/morruz).

Here’s a capsule summary of the last couple of weeks:

School. Work.

Really, that’s all.

I’ve been trying to exercise a bit more lately, which is probably a good idea. Char’s heavy into the yoga, and she’s had me join her a couple of times, which I have found relatively pleasant, and should probably get into more consistently. I’ve also actually used the gym that comes with our apartment, which is revolutionary in itself, and even more, I’ve actually worked up a sweat by choice. Will wonders never cease?

Uhm…

Well, nothing else.

How are all of you?

So, the other shoe to which I referred has, in fact, dropped.

I have been informed that despite my dislocation being just my first, I am among the unlucky ones whose dislocation caused a fracture that renders my shoulder extremely unstable from here on out.

200 km/h facewinds and hard openings — or openings of any kind — would appear to be out of scope for the pre-surgery future and, until I talk to a surgeon, potentially post-surgery too.

You can imagine how happy this makes me.

I got a phone call from my physician on Wednesday in which he told me that the MRI I had indicated cartilage damage in the shoulder, and that I was going to be at risk of join instability pretty much forever.

Which does not bode well for my ability to jump.

I’m going to try, anyway. The first few jumps will be scary, because I don’t know if I’ll be able to land it, let alone drive home, so I’ll make sure to have someone there with me, but I believe that the position in which I’d be at risk is one that I can avoid by careful flying.

It’s sore, it’s stiff, but I have two arms, and therefore I can…

• Finish the assignment that was due last friday
• Finish the assignment that is due this friday.
• Do some real work on my project so as not to let down my team.
• Catch up on my paid work.

That doesn’t sound like too much fun. On the other hand, I can pull up my pants easier, now

Somewhere in there, however, I really need to find some way to thank Char for the fantastic way she’s helped me out throughout the first week of my slingery, when I really couldn’t do much for myself. Waking up at 7:30 is not something she enjoys, and she did it for me.

Something I have never looked forward to is knowing that inevitably I will be looking for advice on when and how to put down a pet. There’s definitely a part of me that just hopes that mine won’t need it, that they’ll be the freak mutation cats that live as long as I do. Of course the rational side of me knows better.

Still, the link above was full of good advice, advice that I intend to heed when the time comes (which is not now, in case anyone was panicking! All of our cats are as healthy as ever, if completely insane).

sucks.

Well, as of this morning I’m short two teeth. Much to my surprise, the dentist — after examining my wisdom tooth — said to me, “Do you want me to just take those out now?” to which I replied, “No time like the present,” and… there we are!

Numb now, but I expect that’ll pass

I have a cousin. She’s one of my favourite cousins. And, although we don’t know for sure yet, her husband — whom I also like quite a bit — has been diagnosed with cancer somewhere in the area of his right shoulder.

I want to take this space to wish both Angie and Darryl well.