Off By One

I think the conspiracy yesterday was to make me actually feel old, by working me over body and mind, so that today I wake up tired, with a sore back and stiff limbs.

I love you all

Squash is responsible for a sore forearm and back, biking for sore legs, and disc golf for a sore shoulder. My mind is awash with details I never knew about good friends and family, which is great — I’m going to get Char to forward me the emails that she assembled into the fantastic party game that we played, and I intend to read over them all.

Thank you all so very much, those of you who were able to come out last night. I had a great time, and it was arguably the best birthday e-var!1!!bang

It’s a good sign, if you ask me, when your christmas gift comes with a letter like this one (boldface text highlighted by Matt):

As requested in a letter from your client, Mr. Chris Staros, dated October 3, 2006, please be advised that I have now completed my review of the goods, namely a boxed set of three graphic novels, entitled Lost Girls. The three graphic novels were reviewed in full, and were found not to fall within the provisions of Customs Tariff item 9899.00.00.

This boxed set was found to contain depictions and descriptions of incest and bestiality, which are indicators of obscenity under current Canada Border Services Agency guidelines. However, these depictions and descriptions are integral to the development of an intricate, imaginative and artfully rendered storyline. When considering the “internal necessities” test, it appears that, in this instance, the portrayal of sex is necessary to a wider artistic and literary purpose. As a result, it is my opinion that this boxed set does not constitute obscenity.

The boxed set was also found to contain depictions and descriptions of sexual acts involving persons under the age of 18. However, it would appear that these representations serve a legitimate purpose related to art and to the very detailed story about the sexual awakening and development of the three main female characters. Furthermore, it is my opinion that this item does not pose an undue risk of harm to persons under the age of 18 years. As a result, it is my opinion that this boxed set does not constitute child pornography.

As the boxed set entitled Lost Girls does not constitute obscenity or child pornography, it does not fall within the provisions of tariff item 9899.00.00. Its importation into Canada is therefore allowed.

I’ve already read the “boxed set entitled Lost Girls,” and it’s pretty impressive. Good writing, although it could have done without the last page and a half of book three, which was just wankery of a different sort, if you ask me, but other than that it was a lot better than I expected. It really was erotica, as opposed to pornography.

I would recommend it, but… well, truth be told I’m not sure many of you reading this would enjoy it. It’s pretty bent in some places, and really does have to be read in its entirety to appreciate it.

It’s a peculiar thing for me, given my generally materialistic bent, to be in a position where I simply don’t want anything material — not actively, at any rate.

Over the course of the last year, I’ve been given two gifts that, between them, have transformed my life from one of material desire to one where I now have a hard time thinking of what I could ask that anyone ever give me as a gift.

One was the iPod that dad bought me for christmas, and this is a big one. Since getting it, I have listened to more music (in 8 months) than the five years previous all together. It’s brought me back to a mental place where I can appreciate music at my leisure, and a place where I both seek new bands and appreciate old ones that I had let fall by the wayside. For example, right now I’m listening to Rammstein. Hard to go wrong with silly-ass techno-influenced german heavy metal

The other, though, is a bit smaller and would seem to be a really simple, small thing: This coffee maker has become indispensable in the week and a half since it came into our house. Imagine the joy of having fresh-ground, fresh-brewed coffee waiting for you every morning. It’s so nice, I don’t know what else to say, other than it’s just that nice.

Yes, I’m gushing over a coffee maker. Deal with it.

This stuff makes me happy, and leaves me only coveting books and skydiving. And computer parts, but those are a whole other category unto themselves. C’est etrange, non?

Although it will no doubt come as a surprise to some (all?) of my readers, I haven’t been giving too much thought to my upcoming birthday, and all that goes with that. Meaning, of course, the greedy part of it — gifts.

Yes, yes, i know… Putting a post about it up on the blog certainly doesn’t strengthen my claim, does it?

Well, bugger that. It so happens that, this year, I am more or less at a loss as to what I even want for a gift. The fact of the matter is, ever since Dad got me one of these for Christmas, well, i literally haven’t wanted any gadgetry. Oh, sure, I want to upgrade my computer, but the day that stops, it’s time to bury me. But, other than that I haven’t wanted toys. It’s kind of weird. And, as a result, I’ve been less focused on my materialistic side as I’ve simply reveled in the pleasure of carrying 1900 songs with me wherever I go.

But, since I’ve been pounding away at a few things here as programming projects of my own, I’ve come to realize that there are a few, slightly oddball (as in, they get buried in the Amazon wishlist) items i’d like. And, as usual, they’re all books.

If you are thinking of getting me a book for the b-day, read the extended entry for it. O’Reilly’s JavaServer Pages or alternately, Manning publishing’s Web Development with JavaServer Pages

Core J2EE Patterns: Best Practices and Design Strategies

There are no doubt more like these, but these ones really appeal to me. And they’re right up the alley of the project i’m going to work on this summer in my spare time. Which I’ll talk about in another posting.