Off By One

Anyone that partakes in a sport that is outside the norm will have some reason or other for doing what they do. Mostly, their reasons boil down to vague notions of thrill or of challenge; they want to do something that scares them, or that is so insanely difficult that doing it at all elevates you to an elite crowd.

These are, in my opinion, pretty good reasons to do crazy things. They’re not, however, my reasons.

I choose to fly because I get to feel the freedom of letting go of conventional stability — the plane — and having a very personal, nearly spiritual connection to my world. When I am in the air alone, I owe nothing to anybody but myself, and I owe very little even there. All I have to do is pull, and I have satisfied every obligation.

Today, and I write this reluctantly, I jumped for the last time.

The skies were blue, patched with clouds at 7,000’.

The air was fresh, the wind calm.

The temperature was high, but for Brazil, not too bad.

I jumped from a Caravan at 12,000’, making a smooth exit and a laughing, joyous flight through a cloud in the aforementioned cloud layer.

I pulled.

The chute opened.

And I felt something in my shoulder give.

It wasn’t a complete dislocation, but even now when I put on a T-shirt, I feel it nearly slip out when I slide my arm into the sleeve.

I cannot jump if I cannot comfortably and fearlessly carry out the single most important task in the skydive, and I cannot safely pull anymore.

So, jump #38, at 25 minutes and 15 seconds of freefall, my first jump in a country other than Canada, my first jump from a Caravan, and also my last.

Christ, do I feel like an old man this morning.

My shoulder is sore and my hip hurts. I’m sitting on the couch because, damn it, I deserve some relaxation at this point.

To top it off, well… Okay, I’ve got nothing to top it off. I read the news this morning and it contained neither inspiration nor indignation for me, which suggests that I’m just really, really tired

and I wanted to work Catch-22 into that title, but couldn’t.

So, in response to some vigourous prodding last night, I felt it was time to dust this off and get back to keeping people apprised of my life.

Here’s the skinny, since… holy shit! November 6! It’s been almost four weeks!

Since then, I have:

• Travelled to the Dominican Republic (where we were all amiss in not posting to Morruz)
• Dislocated my shoulder… again. That sucked. Worse? I was just playing volleyball in a pool, not even doing anything interesting. Funny thing is, though, when I went to a medical supply store to get some foam to pad the horrid sling I took home with me, the lady running the store told me that my injury seems to be quite common in volleyballers, at least anecdotally.
• Got my performance review at work, for which the term “glowing” might be an understatement.

And you wonder why I don’t post? My life is dull, dull, dull.

It hasn’t even been that interesting of a time, politically. I’ve kept my eyes on the news, but there’s been little out of the ordinary to spark thought or discussion, either north or south of the border.

Um… I’ve read some good books, lately. Is that interesting?

Expect more later. I’m just barely awake, and Char just fed me coffee.

That is all.

Well, it’s been a bit; I’m not sure why, but I’ve been undermotivated to blog lately, which has resulted in an ominous quiet from the site.

Here’s a bullet-point update on my situation these days:

• I’m biking to work pretty much daily now; it’s about (I’m told) 6km each way, so it’s a bit of exercise I wouldn’t otherwise be getting, and it’s pretty decent exercise. It’s excellent that our workplace has a shower.
• I’m taking class in the morning and working late, which means that anyone that wants to make plans with me has to take into account that I won’t be home until 7:30 or so each weekday. Having said that, I’d love to do evening things with people, so please call any time.
• Work is up & down; I want to work on new things, but old things keep cropping up.
• Char is away this week, and I miss her.
• XBMC is the greatest thing since sliced bread. No AppleTV for me, my new (old) Xbox does everything I would want the aTV to do.
• I’ve read a few books recently, notably “Infidel” by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, which I bought for Char. It’s excellent, and I highly recommend it.
• On Sunday, with the blessings of Lyal and the qualified non-refusal of a shoulder surgeon, I’m going to fly again.

So, given that it’s — unfortunately — entirely up to me, I have decided.

Next weekend, weather permitting, I’ll be doing #26.

So, the other shoe to which I referred has, in fact, dropped.

I have been informed that despite my dislocation being just my first, I am among the unlucky ones whose dislocation caused a fracture that renders my shoulder extremely unstable from here on out.

200 km/h facewinds and hard openings — or openings of any kind — would appear to be out of scope for the pre-surgery future and, until I talk to a surgeon, potentially post-surgery too.

You can imagine how happy this makes me.

I got a phone call from my physician on Wednesday in which he told me that the MRI I had indicated cartilage damage in the shoulder, and that I was going to be at risk of join instability pretty much forever.

Which does not bode well for my ability to jump.

I’m going to try, anyway. The first few jumps will be scary, because I don’t know if I’ll be able to land it, let alone drive home, so I’ll make sure to have someone there with me, but I believe that the position in which I’d be at risk is one that I can avoid by careful flying.

It’s sore, it’s stiff, but I have two arms, and therefore I can…

• Finish the assignment that was due last friday
• Finish the assignment that is due this friday.
• Do some real work on my project so as not to let down my team.
• Catch up on my paid work.

That doesn’t sound like too much fun. On the other hand, I can pull up my pants easier, now

Somewhere in there, however, I really need to find some way to thank Char for the fantastic way she’s helped me out throughout the first week of my slingery, when I really couldn’t do much for myself. Waking up at 7:30 is not something she enjoys, and she did it for me.

Expect a slowdown in posting until I can type again.

Sorry, all.