Off By One

One might be led to wonder whether there is any real expectation of privacy, out in the wilds of the internet. Certainly, it’s clear that people typically act in such a way as to minimize this. An example, and one with more than a few facets to be examined, is the incident provoked (and prodded… and …) by a blogger by the name of Jason Fortuny.

Fortuny, looking at Craigslist, observed this, and made a decision that is — at best — unethical, and at worst actively sociopathic. He posted an explicit ad to a casual encounters section of a Craigslist site (a section devoted to hooking up for no-strings-attached sex) and waited for responses. Those, he got in spades. Having accumulated a fair number of responses from all walks of life, containing personal information such as phone numbers, names, e-mail addresses, and photos — many of which consisted of nude or semi-nude shots — he proceeded to post this information to the web.

At waxy.org, there are at the very least two fairly serious potential legal ramifications to Fortuny’s actions (Sex Baiting Prank on Craigslist), having to do with the exposure of private information, and deliberate attempts to cause distress. These pale, however, beside the ethical and moral ramifications. Fortuny’s stated aim with this was to “push buttons”, and at this he’s succeeded. He’s also succeeded in causing at least one separation (no citation, sadly, except a peripheral mention in the Waxy article) and no small amount of distress to parties involved. Moreover, he’s spawned a copycat already.

So, the question that’s worth asking — and is well asked at the Wired blog that pointed me at this — is, for those who are thinking… “well, they got what they deserved, trolling for sex on the internet”, is this thought experiment:

What if it the Craig’s List posting was about:

• A 25 year-old woman looking for a sugar daddy?
• A depressed woman looking for a fellow depressed guy?
• A dom woman looking for submissive men to humiliate?
• A gay man looking for ‘straight’ guys?
• A ‘straight’ woman looking for a butch lesbian?
• A butch lesbian looking for a ‘straight’ woman?
• A lesbian looking for a lesbian?
• A closeted gay man looking for another closeted, discreet man?
• An overweight, not attractive straight guy looking for a date?
• A 21-year-old hipster looking for another hipster into?
• A goth woman looking for a goth guy into leather and trenchcoats?
• A couple looking for a third person to watch them have sex?
• A Christian woman looking for a Christian man?
• A furry looking for another furry?
• A Cos-Player looking for someone to dress up with them?
• A middle aged woman who doesn’t know she has terrible taste in poetry looking for a man who will buy her flowers, take her for walks on beaches and compose saccharine poems that rhyme?

Which of these do you feel superior enough to that you would want to see their private notes and photos displayed illegally on the internet? And what’s your justification for choosing what kind of people are reprehensible enough to you that their private lives should be splayed on the internet for anyone, from family to friends to co-workers to acquaintances to their bosses, to see?

—from Wired 27B Stroke 6

So, tempest in a teapot? Violation on a par with rape? Just short of? Sadistic action of a man-child? Sociopathic cruelty?

What do you think? There’s a fair number of starting points for thought on Metafilter, where this is presently being hotly debated.

So, I just had a close call, driving home from Beau’s place.

For Edmontonians or frequent visitors, the locations described below will make sense.

At the top of the road down to the Walterdale bridge, there’s a corner from 109 st that branches into Saskatchewan Drive and this road, whose name I don’t know.

Anyway, at the lights just south of it, by Keegans, I cruise through the just-turned green light, and the car at the light in the left (non-turning) lane peels off just as I go by (more on the car later). They accelerate to an excessive speed, as evinced by the squeal of their tires as they go around the corner to the down-hill road, and realize (apparently) that there is a car in their way. Meanwhile, I’m at the normal speed for the corner, having not had to stop at the lights, more or less a carlength behind the fast vehicle. The vehicle which, at this point, swerves wildly attempting to avoid the car in their lane, very nearly hitting me, and doing a serious number on the rear bumper of the unsuspecting sedan in front of them.

At which point, this vehicle peels off down the road to the bridge, spewing bumper pieces.

Now, they missed me by -1.0m and a braking of quickness. I was freakin’ lucky.

So, the car that did the hitting (as opposed to the hittee, or the dodger (me)) had been beside me at 76th ave and 109 as well, and I heard someone in there (female) say something or other, and then they tore away at the green light, ripping up 109 to the Whyte lights, and then doing the same for the next lighted intersection as well. Apparently they were out for some fun, which resulted (in case it wasn’t clear above) in a hit-and-run (in my opinion).

There’s one other coda for this tale. Being a security-sort, one thing you learn: Catch license plates.

I did. The occupants of the hittee were pleased.

Well, that was bullshit.

All in all, a great new year’s eve - a glass of port, a lot of talking with Char, Mel, and Simon, and a leisurely drive home.

Or not.

More like a drive home interrupted by the first cop i’ve ever encountered who actually fit the “i intend to give you a ticket for something ” stereotype. In addition to the two things that he ended up citing me for, he threatened A) a DUI charge, B) a citation for having my license plate covered by snow a full three hours after the first snowfall in weeks, C) speeding (for going a hair under 50 km/h, but having the misfortune to hit some black ice that almost (but not quite - i stopped in time) caused me to slide through a four-way stop.

Then, he nailed me for not wearing a broken seatbelt and for failing to have up to date insurance. The latter charge i can’t dispute, regrettably - i have the insurance paper, although i’m not sure where it is, but i didn’t have it with me, and apparently that’s worth $172. The seatbelt thing, well, Char will say i should have been using the middle belt, and so did he, but when i do the shoulder belt sits across my neck somewhat, which makes me uncomfortable. So i choose not to use it. So, my choice here was, “Well, wear it, or i’ll have your truck towed,” which was, to say the least, a wonderful capper to my first experience with EPS from this end of the stick.

In general i have a high opinion of cops, they do a shitty job and receive little appreciation for it. But christ. There have got to be better things he could have been doing.

Wow, that’s fscking nauseating…

So, i’m working at $COMPANY, answering the phone all day. Hence, i speak. Funny, that. Anyway, i was approached by one of my co-workers and asked to be quieter. Now, i can understand why that might be desirable, and that’s not why i’m annoyed. In fact, i tried to be quieter, but it’s usually a choice between clarity of speech and quietness, and i’ll go for clarity any time.

What pissed me off was this: When i indicated that my voice doesn’t really get a lot quieter, this co worker of mine said something to the effect of “Well, i hope that nobody has to go home sick because of it”.

I just about fell out of my chair. The only response i could make to her was that if someone went home sick because of my voice, i’d be laughing so hard they’d have to send me home too.

What the fuck is that?! What kind of workplace attitude permits a response like that? I work in a goddamned call center, for christ’s sake! There are voices around you all the time. Loud ones, shrill ones, quiet ones, stupid ones…

I am inclined to attribute this to the union workplace, which protects that sort of stupidity. But that’s my bias. Any opinions?

Current events have, as i’m sure all of you know, gotten very interesting on the political and world-issues front. From the scrap over in Iraq, to the shrinking civil liberties in the US, to the intense anti-americanism that penetrates our national government, to my favourite people - anti-war protestors, of course! - there’s no end to the number of interesting things going on in the world around me.

The problem is, i don’t feel like talking about them. At least, not the way i usually do. Why? Because i’m missing my universal foil. Somehow, it’s just not the same to yak about these things with even the more interesting and well-spoken/thought people in my life (To whomever is reading this: If you have ever talked with me about this, you’re on the list).

So, i did something that i do pretty rarely the other day.. It may not have been all that much, but i attempted an apology/reconciliation with Jamie. At least, i tried one insofar as i feel i owe an apology, which only goes so far. (What’s this about? This

Anyway, i sent off an e-mail that consisted, essentially, of “Well, i think you were a prick, but i was an asshole too, so here i am, apologizing for the ways in which i was an asshole”

Naturally, this came with the attendant verbal spew that i’m so good at

Consequent to this, i got a reply that i read as “Well, Chris, until you grovel before me and beg my forgiveness without qualifications, we don’t have anything to talk about”

Imagine my amusement.

From The Crimson, with selected quotes and commentary from this article:

About two weeks ago, some students at Harvard, members of the Harvard Crew team, led by Michael J. Skey, erected (pun intended, and not original) a 9-foot snow phallus. Hours later, the sculpture was torn down by Amy E. Keel, a self-proclaimed feminist.

Okay, enough backstory.

I read about this one about three days ago. It made me feel nearly ill at the time, but not in the focused way that this article did. What i am going to do is suggest that you read it, and then i’m going to select a few quotes from both the article and the principals of the story and ‘comment’ (read: rant and rave) on them.

“It was offensive because it was pornographic,” said Amy E. Keel ‘04, who said she and her roommate ‘dismantled’ the giant snow penis.

“As a feminist, pornography is degrading to women and creates a violent atmosphere,” she said.

I’ll start with the logical fallacy here. “As a feminist…” etc…

Leading a statement with a self-identifying phrase like that, then following it with a universal pronouncement is failing to follow proper logical connections of ideas. Granted, Ms. Keel may find the idea of pornography degrading, but that is not something that can logically be applied to other people on that basis.

Furthermore, Keel claims that she and her roommate were verbally and physically harassed by a group of roughly 25 men when they attempted to tear down the statue with a cardboard tube at 1:30 a.m. the morning after it was built.

“A few people came out and crowded me with their bodies and one person shoved me away from the penis,” she said. “It was gendered violence, because [their comments] were said in the context of our gender and accompanied by aggressive actions toward us.”

Another logical fallacy: Gendered violence? How about this situation: You have two extremely self-righteous [insert any group here] with only [said group’s visible identifying characteristics] in common. These people are destroying the works of someone else’s art. Given that self-righteousness provokes anger in most people, the more so when it’s directed specifically at the group being so provoked, is it any surprise that they may have responded impolitely, and focused on the [group]’s [common trait]ness?

Here’s a tip, Amy, though i doubt you’d read anything critical of your position. It’s not gendered violence. Anyone of any gender with the attitude you have - the “I’m a victim, so i can tear down things that make me uncomfortable” position that you take - would have been attacked on the same basis. Your attitude is contemptible and demeans the positions of real feminists everywhere.

“The ice sculpture was erected in a public space, one that should be free from menacing reminders of women’s sexual vulnerability,” Rosenfeld wrote in an e-mail yesterday.

She said the snow penis follows a long line of public phallic symbols, including the Washington Monument and missiles.

“Women do not need to be reminded of the power of the symbol of the male genitalia,” Rosenfeld said. “My guess is that they are constantly reminded of it in daily messages.”

Repeat after me: “The penis is not a threat. The penis, like the vagina, is something that differentiates the reproductive roles in a non-threatening manner. Men who are threatening and women who are threatening do so regardless of the nature of their genitalia”

Last quote:

“I have a right to speak out against the joke,” Keel said. “I criticize the motives of putting it up, but since they did, it is within my rights to put it down. It goes both ways.”

Here’s the one that really stokes my anger. Especially on one of the leading intellectual campuses in the US. Funny, i seem to remember something in the articles of governance of the US, something… fundamental. Oh, yes! That’s the thing! “Freedom of speech”, isn’t it? Funny how, in the heat of the moment, ms. Keel decided that her taking offense not only freed her from the burdens of respecting the handiwork of others, but also the obligation to permit views and images that she, herself, does not like to continue to be seen and heard.

With attitudes like that, Ms. Keel is going to find herself a great government job in the [republican/democrat] team stifling citizen dissent. I suspect that she and John Ashcroft would get along famously. (Note: I don’t actually give a damn here, but i’d be willing to bet Ms. Keel does, and probably hates that sanctimonious prick the same way i do, albeit for different reasons.)

The similiarity is more than skin deep.

I just wish these idiots would learn that, just because they take offense at something doesn’t mean that they have the right to silence or destroy it. The world does not owe them a padded, coddled existence free of all offense and unhappiness.

So, i’m sitting on the couches in the bridge between buildings 5 and 6 yesterday, and listening to some guy go on - loudly and at length - about how he thinks stupid people are a waste, and how funny he’s found it when someone he thinks is stupid gets fired, or humiliated, or mistreated…

And so, i wonder.

In what way am i a better person than this loud, abrasive, offensive man?

This isn’t a trivial question to me… I know in my mind that i’m different from him. Nonetheless, my opinions are similar on the surface, and probably seem as unpleasant to the casual listener. I am loud, i am abrasive, and i am offensive - at least my opinions frequently are.

I guess the only thing that comes to mind is that i don’t seek pleasure in the misfortunes of others. I’ve got a better understanding than most of the painful aftereffects of verbal and emotional abuse, so i’m a bit more sympathetic to the plight of the underdog. So, i’m less inclined to mock and ridicule those for whom i have no respect. Note, i say less, not un-.

But i’m not sure that’s enough to differentiate me. And that scares me a bit, because i don’t want to be the sort of person that i felt that man was.

I’m going to watch myself carefully, i think, and see if i can figure out what, if any, differences there are between us.

This is directed mostly towards anyone that knows me personally, which is, last time i checked, anyone who reads this site - it’s not like i have a broad readership.

I’ve been trying to figure out why i’m so short-tempered of late. This isn’t a new thing, but i kind of had it brought home to me how serious it was just this morning. I’ve been snappy, touchy, and generally suspicious of the motivations of someone whom i should be implicitly trustful of, and it’s not fair to her. So, now i want to figure out why.

It’s shitty being asked by the one you love why you “hate her all the time” - it kind of brings it into focus, where before i was seeing only my side of the story. I haven’t been there for Char the way i should have been, and i think that’s a big part of the problem now. i know that i’m a bit of a recluse - my favourite place is right where i am - sitting in front of my computers. What i have to adjust to is that there’s now a better use of my time, and treat her accordingly.

So why am i so damn touchy? You people all know me… Help me out. I think i need some advice on this score before i do irreparable damage to the best thing i have in my life. If this is more serious than i’d thought, i may owe more than one person an apology.

I’m sick of being an asshole. I’d really rather stop.