Disappointment
by Chris on Feb.20, 2004, under General Thoughts
I had a peculiarly disappointing day yesterday. Not the whole day, but a part of it really shook my faith in the ability of people to grow in a positive direction.
I took a bit of time to look up one of my old classmates, call him D for the sake of anonymity. D was one of the people that i attended school with from the beginning through to grad, and I remember always having a fair amount of respect for his native intelligence. We were never great friends, but he wasn’t one of my principal tormentors either.
Now, D has a pretty good life — he’s getting married, owns a business — which I was happy to see. However, he also believes that the world is young, it was made some excessively short time ago at the behest of a supernatural entity, carbon dating is a sham, evolution is wrong (note, not “Natural Selection is wrong” — I got told that natural selection works fine, evolution doesn’t) and, well, you get the idea.
I hate to lose respect for someone like that. But all of the residual respect that I once had is gone now, and I’m left with a feeling of profound disappointment.
February 20th, 2004 on 5:52 pm
I know it’s disappointing, but it is his choice to believe what he wants. In the end, it doesn’t really matter, does it? If he’s right, then he’s right. If you’re right, then you’re right. Having a degree in human evolution, I have run into this many times before, and I found the best way to deal with it is just not to let it get to you, as disappointment or frustration or anything else. My beliefs in evolution and the age of the Earth don’t influence my entire life, just a part of it (albeit, for me, a large part, because it’s what I study), just as I’m sure that his beliefs in that matter don’t encompass his whole life. He’s done well for himself in terms of family and business and maybe it would be easier just to respect him for that.
February 25th, 2004 on 8:06 pm
I don’t buy the “live and let live” line. How can you have respect for someone with an incongruous view on the nature of reality?
February 25th, 2004 on 9:30 pm
I’m inclined to agree with you there.
Mel; two points: One, he started off the prosetylization, so his views do dominate his life to the extent that, having not seen him in close to a decade, they entered the conversation within 5 minutes. Two, i have a hard time reconciling respect for someone with a total disdain for the way in which they approach the world. If someone shows clearly to me that they cannot make reliable and realistic decisions about the shape of the world from the evidence around them, then why should i be bothered to show them any respect? I can appreciate their accomplishments, but i don’t conflate that with actual respect for them, either.